Category: Let's talk
For some time I have been recieving help for, and coming to terms with, a drink problem. It started 6 months ago,when the local offie decided to increase they're special offers on real ale ect.
I took advantage of these offers and before you know it, the advantage was with the ale. It's with great embrassment and noticable prodding from my partner, that I shifted my bones to visit a counsellor.
The humiliation was total I cannot describe the emotions that stirred within me, sitting amid that human flotsam all dying for a drink, and unashamed of the effect their drinking was having on their family ect. That does nothing to encourage someone seeking help.
and you expect sympathy and understanding why exactly? considering how many times you have come on to these boards and openly tried to humilliate and take the piss out of yogi for the fact he is a recovering alcoholic? And somehow I think that if anyone else had come on here and openly admitted to going to AA you would have been the first to call them weak and attention seaking for doing so.
If it was anyone else I would have had the utmost understanding and respect for the fact they had the courage to put on a public forum that they had a problem, but given your conduct in the past I think you owe quite a few apologies before you are deserving of any sympathy.
I disagree.
Goblin, good going. It's hard to admit that drink is more of a problem than it should be.
You and I have had our differences on different issues on the boards, and I'm sure we will do so again. However, I admire your tough-mindedness and your tenacity. And I suspect it took a lot of tough mindedness to see that you had a problem and to do something with it. So, I say, congrats and great going.
Bob
I think we all make mistakes, and to move forword we have to admit the problem. That is the first step. Also another step later on is to make ammends to one's self and to other's you have hurt with your problem. I will say that I am an someone who went to alateen and should go to alanon. I lived with two alcoholics, and didn't leave that envirenment until I was 13. I have many learned behaviors that I'm still to this day trying to battle. This for me is not as bad as it is for my sister, but I have that problem of occationally unfortunatly more than sometimes being attention seaking and havind drama. That happens with alcoholics and children/adult children of alcoholics. I am glad to hear that he has taken this step and only hope it can be successful. Clare as for somethings they have made fun of. My father used to do the same things before he joined. Also people say hurtful shit to try to cover for themselves. I remember a convorsation with my half drunk mother when I asked her why she continued to drink when it hurt us all and her responce was...
"You were born blind and I didn't know how to handle it so I turned to the bottle."
Damia, that's a hell of a guilt trip to lay on anyone. Don't buy into it, it's bullshit.
We are each responsible for our own actions.
Bob
Goblin, may I offer you congratulations for facing your adiction. It sounds like you were somewhat scornful of AA. I'd like to point out to you that it has worked for many in the past. It may not be your sollution to the problem, but go easy on it, and try to encourage those who might benefit from their philosophy or program. In the meantime, I offer your support on the beginning of your journey.
Lou
I think how helpful AA is for someone depends on a variety of things. First and foremost is your own attitude. If you go in wanting help, then you'll probably find it. Second, it does depend on which AA group you're a part of. A group is only the sum of its members, and for that reason, some AA groups are more helpful than others. Each would have their own dynamic.
I have a good friend who is an alcoholic. When he lived in one state, he found AA very helpful. He moved due to a job, and the AA group he attended in his new home was very different. Third, if the folks in that room were as unashamed of their problem as you claim, what the heck were they doing there in the first place?
AA may not be the answer for you, but it is for many, so don't knock it.
Alcoholics Anonymous page 83 and 84.
Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fill the bill at all. We ought
to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Their defects may be glaring, but
the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show
us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to
urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words.
We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some
people cannot be seen-we sent them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be avoided.
We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new
happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of
uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole
attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we
work for them.
To all who talked sense thank you I appreciate it. The problem hasn't reached the stage where I can say alcohol has taken over my life. However, I have relied on it instead of talking and sharing the feelings that drove me to drown my sorrows in drink, we are under a colossal amount of stress here. {No excuse I know, but its the only one I can offer} So thank you everyone. Damia you are right my derogatory attitude stems from needing to distance myself from the humiliation of actually being in that room, and I despise drunks with a vengence so to be sitting among them was horrible.
To all who talked sense thank you I appreciate it. The problem hasn't reached the stage where I can say alcohol has taken over my life. However, I have relied on it instead of talking and sharing the feelings that drove me to drown my sorrows in drink, we are under a colossal amount of stress here. {No excuse I know, but its the only one I can offer} So thank you everyone. Damia you are right my derogatory attitude stems from needing to distance myself from the humiliation of actually being in that room, and I despise drunks with a vengence so to be sitting among them was horrible.
To all who talked sense thank you I appreciate it. The problem hasn't reached the stage where I can say alcohol has taken over my life. However, I have relied on it instead of talking and sharing the feelings that drove me to drown my sorrows in drink, we are under a colossal amount of stress here. {No excuse I know, but its the only one I can offer} So thank you everyone. Damia you are right my derogatory attitude stems from needing to distance myself from the humiliation of actually being in that room, and I despise drunks with a vengence so to be sitting among them was horrible.
Sister I think they were to please their families ect as they depend on them for money and shelter ect.
hey my mom is a recovering alcoholic and I see what it does to her. Wanting a drink is all she thought of at first. Now she is going to meetings with her boyfriend and they are doing much better. I wish you all the lluck in the world. If ever you need someone to talk I'm here.
Most people that think they may need AA usually do. We don't get a lot of "normal" drinkers, and by normal I mean people who can have a drink one drink and stop at that, or drink socially and by socially I mean a few glasses of wine with dinner or a few times a month.
Those people don't wake up one morning and say, damn I think I need to quit this, or I think I need to go to AA! So chances are very good that if you think you have a problem and you think you need to be in AA you probably do!
Another thing is as Goblin says he despises drunks is that generally when people despise a behavior it's because it's something they are doing themselves.